Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone ...". Genesis 2:18
This week's chapter moves us into a discussion of loneliness. I find myself agreeing with Tony the Beat Poet that the words alone, lonely, and loneliness are three of the most powerful words in the English language. They describe a very personal experience. They also describe a situation many of us perceive as crisis - hence movies like Castaway and I Am Legend.
Miller says that he used to think love was the opposite of loneliness. Now, he says, "I think being in love is an opposite of loneliness, but not the opposite" (I added italics). What would you identify as other opposites of loneliness?
Is there a danger in identifying being in love as the opposite of loneliness? If so, what is it?
Miller describes some of the unhealthiness he saw in his life from living too long on his own. What are some unhealthy characteristics you have experienced from loneliness?
Is there a time when we need to be alone? Is there such a thing as "healthy loneliness"?
Is there someone in your life who you call upon when you find yourself feeling alone? What does that person or people provide that helps you overcome any unhealthy characteristics of loneliness?
The cartoon of Don Astronaut is based on a story from Miller's friend Stacy. The purpose of the story is to describe "... how he imagines hell, a place where a person is completely alone, without others and without God." There are some who think of hell as a fiery pit, others who describe it as a dark loneliness. What do you think about this?
I just wrote a post for CBF's blog this week where I quoted Matthew 18:15-16. In these verses, Jesus gives us guidance on how to handle disagreement among believers. My comment on the passage was that Jesus' prescription for dealing with conflict was to meet with the person face-to-face. It occurs to me that conflict with another person is often, for me, when I experience loneliness. For me, it is a challenge that Jesus lays before me to step out of the loneliness conflict brings and go and sit down with the person I am in conflict with. Just a random thought that you are welcome to respond to.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
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In periods of unhealthy loneliness, I seem to draw more and more into myself - often times shutting others out. Jennifer can atest to this, and often times strains in relationships occur. I would say for me, that is an unhealthy characteristic of loneliness.
However, there are times that we need to be alone. I am typing this on Friday afternoon in my office with not a soul around. For many extraverts, this would be excrutiating. But as an introvert, I seek and need alone time. To gather my thoughts, flesh out ideas, and just to rest. I think there are positive times of loneliness because we can focus on ourselves and on God. Maybe that is the difference between the two - when we acknowledge that God is present even though no one else might be around, then it is healthy. When we turn into ourselves, not acknowledging God's presence in our lives and our need for him, that is unhealthy.
As for the person I turn to in times of loneliness, that has to be Jennifer. She even recognizes symptoms of loneliness in my life when I don't want to acknowledge them - whether I want to or not she calls them on me.
As for my perception of hell, I think hell is an absence from God. I believe heaven is full connection and contanst presence of God, so hell is the opposite. Is hell a fiery place? I don't know. But I feel the true pain that comes from "hell" is being apart from God - eternally.
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