Chapter 19: Love - How to Really Love Yourself

Mark here. With David teaching the Great Light Seminar right now, I will facilitate the rest of the discussions on "Blue Like Jazz". With only 1 chapter left to go, some may wonder, "What next?" Well, let me tell you! We will next move into a discussion centered around Leonard Sweet's new book 11. In this book, Sweet uses Biblical figures to identify 11 relationships we need to have in our life in order to be who God intends us to be. This book should provide a wonderful opportunity for Biblical principles to intersect daily life. It will hopefully also generate a lot of discussion.

In starting with 11, David and I have decided to cast a wider net. We have always said that the discussion on this blog was open to anyone. We are going to be much more intentional about promoting that over the course of the next few weeks.

If you are in the Young Adult Sunday School class at First Baptist Elon, David and I will be getting books to you shortly. Otherwise, anyone can pick up a copy of the book at any Family Christian bookstore. As always, we will try to facilitate the discussion in a way that anyone can participate, even if they do not have the book.

Now, on to a discussion based around chapter 19 of Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz.

Miller tells a story about Nathan, a genius who talks like Elmer Fudd. Miller fears that if Nathan was to come to his church, people would label Nathan and make fun of him because of the way he talks and never learn that he was a genius. Have you ever labeled someone and then learned something about them that totally blew up your label? Why do you think we sometimes make judgments about someone without really knowing them?

Miller writes, "I pray often that God would give me the strength and dignity to receive [my friends'] love. My friend Julie from Seattle says the key to everything rests in the ability to receive love ...". Why does it take strength to receive love? Why does it take dignity to receive love? Why is the ability to receive love so important?

There are 2 passages of Scripture that Miller either directly quotes or, I believe, lie underneath his writings in this chapter.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life." - John 3:16

"One of the scribes came near and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that Jesus answered them well, he asked him, 'Which commandment is the first of all?' Jesus answered, 'The first is, Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, You shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.'" - Mark 12:28-31

It occurs to me that one of the first songs the church teaches children is "Jesus Loves Me". Most children learns that God loves them before they learn that they are to love God. Is it possible to love God without first coming to the realization that God loves us?
If we are struggling with the fact that God loves us, how does this affect our faith and our relationship to God?

Are our relationships to others affected by our understanding that God loves us? How?

Chapter 18: Love - How to Really Love Other People

Mark here. Thought I would start this discussion of Miller's thoughts on loving other people with the passage from 1 Corinthians 13 that Miller talks about at the end of chapter 18. I am going to share from The Message, a contemporary restating of the Bible.

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumpts, but I don't have love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

After reading this chapter of Miller's book, my attention was grabbed by that last stament - "I'm bankrupt without love." Miller talks about the realization that Christian culture often thinks of love as a commodity, withholding it from those who do not agree with us but lavishing it on those who do. Do you agree with his assessment? How have you experienced this, or is there an occasion where you yourself have used love in this fashion?

Jesus calls us to love our enemies (Matthew 5:43-44). Miller describes this as pouring love lavishly on those who we see as adversaries rather than withholding love until they change. By doing this, he says that love pulls people "... from the mire and toward healing." Can you do this? How "practical" does this seem to you or to our culture? What in our mindset do we need to change to be able to love our enemies?

Miller talked about being more able to be himself around "the hippies" than around Christians. Can you relate to this struggle? What role does love play in this struggle?

Miller struggled with how to love those who he felt were betraying God without encouraging to live apart from God. His peace came with this realization: "I loved the fact that it wasn't my responsibility to change somebody, that it was God's, that my part was just to communicate love and approval." Is this what we mean by "sharing God's love"? Should this be what we mean?

Chapter 17: Worship - The Mystical Wonder

David here. We are winding down our discussion of Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. Miller begins to wrap up his discussion and exploration of his spiritual nature by focusing on Worship in Chapter 17. Miller begins examining Christianity "outside the box" - focusing on the things that we can't understand, yet have faith in. This is how he comes to the heart of worship. Here are a few questions to get your mind started...

(1) Miller begins the chapter by quoting Mother Teresa and her response to a question about how she loves so many people, saying "She said she loved people because they are Jesus, each one of them is Jesus, and this is true because it says so in the Bible." Miller follows up the response by saying this contradicts reality. What do you think about Christian elements that contradict reality? Do you struggle with them? Do you accept them?

(2) I was amazed at Miller's approach to worship and his understanding of God. He said, "When we worship God, we worship a Being our life experience does not give us the tools with which to understand. If we could, God would not inspire us." What do you think about this quote?

(3) Miller later talks about how we have to climb outside of ourselves to draw closer to God, and this is where true worship is. We are "invigorated" by this new view. When is the last time you were "invigorated" by God? Describe the time and circumstance.

(4) Human nature drives us to be able to control everything, even God. We want to direct Him, guide Him, use Him, in a sense so we can undertand Him and have him at our whim. Miller states we are too proud to feel awe and to fear Him. Do you fear God? How? Why? Is it healthy fear or unhealthy fear?

(5) "I don't feel there is any better worship than wonder." Expand this though in your own words...

"Our God is an awesome God, He reigns from heaven and above. With wonder, power, and love, our God is an awesome God."

Chapter 16: Money - Thoughts on Paying Rent

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light; but if your eye is unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." - Matthew 6:19-24

Mark here. Sorry the posts is a couple of days late. Anyway, the topic this week is money, so I thought these words from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount might be a good way to enter into the topic.

1. "We are worth the money we make. Maybe this is a man thing; maybe women don't think about this ...". Do men and women think about money differently? How? How can this affect their view of themselves?

2. "The thing about new things is you feel new when you buy them, you feel as though you are somebody different because you own something different. We are our possessions, you know." What is your response to this statement? Considering Jesus' words from the Sermon on the Mount, what would Jesus' response be to us regarding this type of mindset?

3. Near the end of the chapter, Miller shares a conversation he had with his pastor about tithing. Miller's pastor, Rick, says that tithing is an act of obedience to God and an act of trusting God. He says that tithing is also a way of being accountable for how much money you have. Share your thoughts on Rick's description of tithing. Is there anything you would add to it?

4. Related to the last question, what is the greatest challenge to developing the habit of tithing? How can we develop a mindset of giving?

Share your thoughts on these questions or any other issues in the chapter. God bless!

Chapter 15: Community - Living with Freaks

David here. I hope you have been enjoying reading Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz over the last couple of months. I don't think there has been one chapter that has not spoken to me or to a place that I have been in my spiritual life, and this chapter is no different. In Chapter 15, Miller confronts his introverted, self centered nature and moves in with a few fellow Christians who are members at his church. The struggles he faced as being an alone introvert moving into a house with five or six others were very difficult for him. He brought up many interesting topics during this chapter. Let's see what you think.

(1) Miller begins the chapter with this quote, "I thought the backbone of faith was time alone with God..." How do you view your faith - more of a public thing or a private thing? What seems to nurture your spiritual life better - being in a group, or being alone?

(2) Miller discusses how that when he initially moved into the house with 5 other guys, he was exhausted. Not from the move, but being in the presence of others all the time. A true introvert at heart. Are you an introvert or extravert? How does this factor into your faith walk?

(3) "Living in community made me realize one of my faults: I was addicted to myself. All I thought about was myself. The only thing I really cared about was myself." Have you ever been confronted with one of your own faults? How did it make you feel?

(4) On a trip to a homeless shelter, Miller got in a conversation with the gentleman who ran the shelter, Bill. Bill made this observation to Miller, "If we are not willing to wake up in the morning and die to ourselves, perhaps we should ask ourselves whether or not we are really following Jesus." What do you think about this powerful quote?

This chapter brings me back to the story from Acts 2 about the early church. May you use these words as a devotion for today, starting with verse 43:

"Awe came upon everyone, because many wonders and signs were being done by the apostles. All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved."

Week 14: Alone - Fifty-three Years in Space

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone ...". Genesis 2:18

This week's chapter moves us into a discussion of loneliness. I find myself agreeing with Tony the Beat Poet that the words alone, lonely, and loneliness are three of the most powerful words in the English language. They describe a very personal experience. They also describe a situation many of us perceive as crisis - hence movies like Castaway and I Am Legend.

Miller says that he used to think love was the opposite of loneliness. Now, he says, "I think being in love is an opposite of loneliness, but not the opposite" (I added italics). What would you identify as other opposites of loneliness?

Is there a danger in identifying being in love as the opposite of loneliness? If so, what is it?

Miller describes some of the unhealthiness he saw in his life from living too long on his own. What are some unhealthy characteristics you have experienced from loneliness?

Is there a time when we need to be alone? Is there such a thing as "healthy loneliness"?

Is there someone in your life who you call upon when you find yourself feeling alone? What does that person or people provide that helps you overcome any unhealthy characteristics of loneliness?

The cartoon of Don Astronaut is based on a story from Miller's friend Stacy. The purpose of the story is to describe "... how he imagines hell, a place where a person is completely alone, without others and without God." There are some who think of hell as a fiery pit, others who describe it as a dark loneliness. What do you think about this?

I just wrote a post for CBF's blog this week where I quoted Matthew 18:15-16. In these verses, Jesus gives us guidance on how to handle disagreement among believers. My comment on the passage was that Jesus' prescription for dealing with conflict was to meet with the person face-to-face. It occurs to me that conflict with another person is often, for me, when I experience loneliness. For me, it is a challenge that Jesus lays before me to step out of the loneliness conflict brings and go and sit down with the person I am in conflict with. Just a random thought that you are welcome to respond to.

Chapter 13: Romance - Meeting Girls is Easy

Hey everyone. Sorry we missed the post last week. It was a very busy and emotional week in our church family. We won't try to jump ahead, but just stick with our weekly post.

Miller in Chapter 13 touches on a very thought provoking topic - LOVE - what is it? Is it real? How do we get it? Miller has some very interesting opinions about the subject, based on his personal experience and through his readings. Let's look at a few and allow it to be our jumping off point for discussion.

1. In a discussion with one of Miller's female friends, one he actually had a crush on, he made the comment that he didn't believe in "true love". What do you think - does "true love" exist?

2. One of the fears that Miller talked about with love is that he felt once one person got to know him really well - at a deep level - then she wouldn't like him. Have you ever had that kind of fear with someone or about something?

3. Miller saw marriage as a "loss of freedom". What is your view of marriage? Does it match up with Miller's, or is it different?

4. One of Miller's friends, Paul said, "I mean that to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously. And a person who thinks himself unlovable cannot be in a relationship with God because he can't accept who God is; a Being that is love. We learn that we are lovable or adorable from other people. That is why God tells us so many times to love each other." What do you think about Paul's quote?

5. In a play that Miller wrote, he put this line, "God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us." How does this imagery of God's love for us and our love for someone else reflect in your life?

As a follow up reading for this chapter, I want to encourage you to turn to the Song of Songs in the Old Testament. This imagery of God's love for us and our love for another is captured so passionately in this Old Testament writing.