Monday, April 7, 2008

Chapter 13: Romance - Meeting Girls is Easy

Hey everyone. Sorry we missed the post last week. It was a very busy and emotional week in our church family. We won't try to jump ahead, but just stick with our weekly post.

Miller in Chapter 13 touches on a very thought provoking topic - LOVE - what is it? Is it real? How do we get it? Miller has some very interesting opinions about the subject, based on his personal experience and through his readings. Let's look at a few and allow it to be our jumping off point for discussion.

1. In a discussion with one of Miller's female friends, one he actually had a crush on, he made the comment that he didn't believe in "true love". What do you think - does "true love" exist?

2. One of the fears that Miller talked about with love is that he felt once one person got to know him really well - at a deep level - then she wouldn't like him. Have you ever had that kind of fear with someone or about something?

3. Miller saw marriage as a "loss of freedom". What is your view of marriage? Does it match up with Miller's, or is it different?

4. One of Miller's friends, Paul said, "I mean that to be in a relationship with God is to be loved purely and furiously. And a person who thinks himself unlovable cannot be in a relationship with God because he can't accept who God is; a Being that is love. We learn that we are lovable or adorable from other people. That is why God tells us so many times to love each other." What do you think about Paul's quote?

5. In a play that Miller wrote, he put this line, "God risked Himself on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, understand this gravity that drew Him, unto us." How does this imagery of God's love for us and our love for someone else reflect in your life?

As a follow up reading for this chapter, I want to encourage you to turn to the Song of Songs in the Old Testament. This imagery of God's love for us and our love for another is captured so passionately in this Old Testament writing.

1 comment:

Mark said...

Isn't there a movie or fairy tale about finding out if true love exists? Beauty and the Beast maybe? Anyway, I do think there is such a thing as true love - it is God's love for us. If indeed "God is love", then he is indeed the truest love. Our love for Him and for one another will always be an imitation, and imperfect at that, of his love. But by looking to Him, we learn more about love and grow in our ability to love truly.
Is marriage a loss of freedom? Yes. It has to be, to a certain extent. You can no longer make a decision that takes only your life into consideration. You must account for the fact that you have a partner to live life with, someone who is affected by the decisions you make. I do not think marriage is slavery ("the old ball and chain" imagery), but it is a sacrifice of some of one's independence. However, that sacrifice is, in a way, I think, an expression of love.
In terms of Paul's quote, I think I agree with it, although I am still thinking about it. I do think someone who sees themself unlovable is going to have a hard time having a relationship with God because they will only think of themselves as unworthy of God's love. That is where the concept of grace becomes so important: that even when we are unworthy of God's love, He loves us anyway.